Terry Stevens' Point

  • Surely I'm not the only one...

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    ...who crushed on Johnette Napolitano back in the day?

    In the event you have no idea who she is, let me introduce you to Concrete Blonde.  (This tune is originally by Leonard Cohen, so if you're more into his vibe you might dig it too.)

     

     

    Totally crush worthy, no?

    Explore more of Concrete Blonde's music here:

     

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • A hairy discussion

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    With the arrival of spring, comes the need to lose my "winter coat" hairstyle-wise.  In our last Blog, you met some friends of mine who have a vested interest in my hairstyle.  What follows is our discussion:

    TERRY: Alright fellas, it's time for our regular hairstyle meeting. Let's take attendance. Mili-Terry?

    MILI-TERRY: SIR, YES SIR!

    TERRY: Contemporary Terry?

    CONTEMPORARY TERRY: Right on time.

    TERRY: Punk Terry?

    PUNK TERRY: h3r3!

    TERRY: Hippie Terry?

    HIPPIE TERRY: Here, that is, if any of us are truly here.

    TERRY: We'll get to that in another meeting, Hippie.

    HIPPIE TERRY: Get to what?

    TERRY: [SIGH] Never mind. Okay, let's talk hair.

    HIPPIE TERRY: Aw, bummer. That's what this meeting is about?

    MILI-TERRY: SHUT YOUR PIE-HOLE, MAGGOT!

    PUNK TERRY: back 0ff u fasc1$t!

    TERRY: Guys, guys, calm down. We're going to take turns like we always do.

    HIPPIE TERRY: Like, whatever man. I haven't been the hairstyle of choice for, like 8 years, man.

    TERRY: Well, no.

    HIPPIE TERRY: Come on, man. Remember all the good times we had together? Seriously, do you? Cuz, I don't.

    TERRY: See, that's part of your problem. You don't exactly scream "I'm responsible".

    HIPPIE TERRY: Hey man, I never affected your work ethic.

    TERRY: Agreed, but you did restrict my opportunities. As much as you don't like it, a lot of folks think that a guy with long hair isn't a good candidate for employment. Back in the day, it wasn't a problem. Today, however, I have a family to support.

    HIPPIE TERRY: Your current employer hired you when you looked like me.

    TERRY: Yes, they hired me over the phone, remember?

    HIPPIE TERRY: No.

    TERRY: I'm not surprised. Punk Terry, would you like to go next?

    PUNK ROCK TERRY: try 2 st0p mi!

    TERRY: I wouldn't dream of it...

    PUNK ROCK TERRY: IM @ll @b0ut $tand1ng 0ut 1n @ cr0wd! IM teh cl0$3$t th1ng to teh h1pp1e ur g01ng 2 g3t w1th0ut @ll teh stup1d ha1r!

    TERRY: That's true. With you, I do get the counter-culture feel of Hippie without all of the hair...

    HIPPIE TERRY: Are you kidding me, man? What about the hair-helmet?

    TERRY: Yeah, that's true. Go into hair helmet mode once, Punk.

    PUNK ROCK TERRY: [SIGH] Fine. Are you happy now?

    TERRY: Not really. That's just not the optimal look.

    PUNK ROCK TERRY: Tell me about it. Let�s just g0 Punk @ll teh t1m3!

    TERRY: I'd love to, but that brings about the same issues that Hippie has, employment-wise. Besides, you require a lot of hair care product to maintain.

    PUNK ROCK TERRY: wh3n teh r3v0lut10n c0m3s, 1�ll b wa1t1ng.

    TERRY: I'm sure you will. Mili-Terry?

    MILI-TERRY: SIR, YES SIR!

    TERRY: Please present your case.

    MILI-TERRY: SIR, YES SIR! SIR, I AM THE MOST EFFICIENT STYLE IN OUR ARSENAL, SIR! I HAVE NO NEED OF STYLING PRODUCTS, SIR! SPRING IS HERE AND SUMMER WILL SOON FOLLOW, SIR! I AM PERFECT FOR WARMER WEATHER CONDITIONS, SIR! I AM THE BEST CHOICE FOR OPERATION: HAIRCUT, SIR!

    TERRY: But what about the fact that Mrs. Stevens isn't as fond of you as your brethren?

    MILI-TERRY: SIR, THAT IS REGRETABLE, SIR! I...I...I...GOT NUTHIN', SIR.

    TERRY: At ease, soldier.

    MILI-TERRY: SIR, YES SIR!

    TERRY: Contemporary Terry, you've been rather quiet so far.

    CONTEMPORARY TERRY: What's there to say? I've won this thing more times than I can count. Sure, Mili-Terry picks up a win every now and then when you try something experimental that ends in disaster and have to buzz everything off to look normal. In the end, you always come back to me. Safe, semi-stylish and easy.

    TERRY: You are safe, semi-stylish and easy and that's why I'm not a big fan of yours. I really do prefer a more counter-culture look...

    HIPPIE TERRY: Right on, man!

    PUNK ROCK TERRY: w00t!

    TERRY: But, I have to work within the system at large.

    MILI-TERRY: SIR, WELL PUT, SIR!

    CONTEMPORARY TERRY: My thoughts exactly.

    TERRY: Of course, cutting my own hair leaves me with few options and you four seem to be it. Luckily, the new Great Clips on Stewart Avenue in Wausau is doing cuts for just $3.99 all week long.  I'll see what they can do for us.  Which one of you wants to handle the Blog sign-off?

    HIPPIE TERRY: Sure! Wait. What?

    TERRY: Punk?

    PUNK ROCK TERRY: B k3wl

    TERRY: On second thought, I need someone who can say it in English. Mili?

    MILI-TERRY: SIR! BE CO...

    TERRY: Ow! Somebody who can do it without yelling.

    CONTEMPORARY TERRY: Oh, sure. Now you want me. I don't think so.

    TERRY: [SIGH] Fine, I'll do it myself.

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • Of 3-99 haircuts and waterpark passes

    Posted by Terry Stevens

     

    HIPPY TERRY

    'Sup, bro.  I'm Hippie Terry.  As you can see, I'm cool with kids. The kid seen with Anj and I is actually our friends Amy and Aaron's daughter, Jilly.

    The hair is cool and all man, but it has a bit of baggage including, but not limited to the following:

    1) It keeps me from having a management position 'cuz The Man is like, totally square. This is a bummer, cuz like, now I have a family to provide for.

    2) It is a hassle to care for, taking forever to wash, rinse and dry.  Total drag.

    3) It gets everywhere. I like, shed and stuff.

    On the other hand, it looks pretty awesome in a ponytail or worn down, so there's that. Plus, my wife thinks it was pretty hot.

    Be Groovy,

    HTS

     

    PUNK TERRY

    Hi, I'm Punk Rock Terry! As you can see, I'm also good with kids and even managed to have 2 of them including my daughter, Rosemary, pictured above.

    Even though I look like I stuck my finger in a high-voltage socket, I love the style. It's "edgy".

    With that being said, it comes with an issue: I can't really wear it that way to work. It ends up being slicked back and gets to be a bit too hair-helmety as it gets longer. Love the spikes. Hate the helmet.

    Maintenance-wise, it's pretty easy. Grab a good-sized glob of styling junk and defy gravity. My wife digs the style when it's up, but not when it gets into hair helmet territory.

    Be Rebellious!

    PRTS

     

    MILI-TERRY

    A-ten-HUT!  I'm Mili-Terry! I'm good with kids, but I'm afraid the one sitting on my shoulders is about to pee on my neck. Luckily, it won't get in my hair because I keep it super-short!

    My hairstyle requires little to no upkeep. I just buzz it super short and it's a done deal. It's the most convenient for my busy life.

    With that being said, it's pretty boring as far as hairstyles go. There isn't any "flair" to it. The style is very utilitarian and bland. Plus, while it may be great in the summer, it is pure frozen B.S. when the weather gets cold.

    On top of that, my wife doesn't really dig it that much. As looking attractive to her has signicant benefits that I can't really go into detail about here, (this is a family station/blog after all,) this hairstyle has more downside that it lets on.

    Be All That You Can Be,

    MTS

     

    CONTEMPORARY TERRY

    Hi! I'm Contemporary Terry! This is what I usually look like until I get crazy or lazy with the hair clippers.

    Pretty low-upkeep as far as hairstyles go. Just toss gel in and I'm good to go. It works for work and doesn't look too shabby for play.

    There are two drawbacks.

    1) It looks kinda bleh if I don't use some sort of gel in it. A hat is required if I don't feel like styling. However, I don't like wearing hats indoors if I can help it, and I NEVER wear one at a meal. This seems like a minor issue until you realize how much time I spend eating and being indoors.

    2) Mrs. Stevens prefers my hair a bit longer than this. I think Mili-Terry covered the drawbacks to this pretty well.

    Be Cool,

    CTS

     


    TERRY:  Hi, I'm Terry Stevens, and on Saturday, I'll be broadcasting live from the new Great Clips on Stewart Avenue in Wausau.  Salon quality cuts are only 3-99 and I'll be handing out Mount Olympus Waterpark passes too.  Also, I'm due for a cut.  My friends and I will decide what sort of cut tomorrow.  Isn't that right boys?

     

    HIPPY TERRY:  You told me we were gonna play hacky sack!  That's bogus, dude!

    PUNK ROCK TERRY:  Do we get to pick a new color or colors too?

    MILI-TERRY:  SIR, YES SIR!

    CONTEMPORARY TERRY:  You do realize that your readers are going to think you've lost your mind when they read tomorrow's Blog, right?

    TERRY:  If they don't think I'm a bit off after listening to my show, tomorrow's Blog shouldn't be an issue...

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • I loathe boy bands...

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    ...but I love this video.  Things start getting good at about :45.

     

    Told ya' so.

    If you're into that Techno/Dance sound, you can explore more of Hot Chip's music here:

    If you're not into that sound, here's some Jimi Hendrix:

     

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • Another nominee

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    Yesterday, I told you that a couple of commercials that I wrote, produced and voiced are up for "Best Commercial of 2009" awards from the Wisconsin Broadcasters Association.

    Today, I'll be sharing the second commercial with you.

    It's for an operation called Fitness On Demand.  The Account Exec who was managing the account at the time told me that "She [the owner] likes the term 'junk in the trunk' and she wants something really music heavy.  Just go nuts with it."

    "Just go nuts with it," is music to my ears.

    Having been exposed to the era of "booty rap" that brought us the sounds of Tag Team, Wrex-N-Effect, 2 Live Crew, etc., I had an idea that I thought would fit the bill.

    Once I found the right music for the ad, I wrote the lyrics.  It was pretty tough to keep a straight face while recording it.  All of the little ad lib parts that you hear popping up throughout the ad are outtakes.  I just cut them up and sprinkled them in where appropriate.

    The client loved the ad.  The station that it aired on actually got requests for it.  Now THAT'S the sign of a catchy spot.

    By the way.  I can write effective stuff for your business too.  Call 842-1672 to get started.  I'm ready to "go nuts with it" whenever you are.

    Be Cool,

    TS

    Fitness on Demand

  • An honor to be nominated

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    For the second year in a row, commercials that I have written are up for awards from The Wisconsin Broadcasters Association. 

    Last year, a commercial that I wrote picked up the gold, and a commercial that I wrote, produced and voiced picked up the silver. 

    This year, both spots were written, produced and voiced by me with one voice appearance by WDEZ's Nikki Montgomery.

    The first ad is for an outfit called Fright in the Night, a wicked cool haunted golf cart ride. 

    Every advertiser on our stations has their advertising schedules managed by what we call an account executive.  The Account Executive for Fright in the Night is one of my faves, Sarah Keene.

     

    SARAH KEENE

    Ready to have killer advertising made for your business


    Sarah is really good at interviewing her clients and determining what their unique strengths are.  Then, she hands the info off to me and lets me run wild with it.  For this client though, a field trip was in order.  Sarah and I headed off to Fright in the Night, spent an afternoon touring the trail and took a ride on that which truly separated Fright in the Night from every other haunted house on the market.

    You can listen to the results in the player below.  I love how the commercial paints a picture using sound effects.  Nikki Montgomery postively nails her performance.

    I hope you enjoy listening to it as much as I enjoyed creating it.  I'll post the second commercial and its creation story tomorrow.

    By the way, if you or someone you know would like an potentially award winning commercial made for your business, call Sarah or one of her teammates at 842-1672.

    Be Cool,

    TS

    Fright in the Night

  • I'm changing pharmacies

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    But first, I have to move to Indiana.

     

     

    As a guy who writes commercials for a living, I can't even begin to tell you how much I love that spot.  ("Spot" is the industry term for commercial.)

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • R.I.P. Alex Chilton

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    Alex Chilton passed away.  In case you're not familiar with his work, let me familiarize you.

    He sang for the Box Tops.

     

     

    He also played with Big Star.

     

     

    Big Star was one of those groups that more than a few bands point to as an influence, yet never caught on big with the general public.

    Who knows?  Perhaps they'll start catching on today.  Explore more of Big Star's music here:

     

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • Happy Saint Pat's Day!

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    In honor of the occasion, here's a video that will show you how to beat the doody out of someone by using a shillelagh.  Enjoy!

     

     

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • When the right of way goes wrong

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    The rules say:  "Pedestrians have the right of way."

     

    PEDESTRIANS

    "We sure do!"


    Reality says:  "SPLAT"

     

    SIGN

    PICTURED:  reality


    I'm reminded of this every time I walk to and from work.  No matter how much right of way I have, this:

     

    TERRY KONG

    RAWR!


    Is no match for this:

     

     

    IDIOT

    PICTURED:  The idiot who would rather kill a pedestrian than put her $@#! phone down


    In a collision.

    I suppose this is the part when I'm supposed to crab about "there oughta be a law".  I'm not going to do that, though.

    The fact is, there is a law and a good third of people who drive on my walking routes ignore it.  So instead of dealing with things the way I want them to be, I deal with things the way they are.

    The way things are, pedestrians don't have the right of way.  I wait for the drivers to signal me or pass.  Then, when the coast is clear, I cross.  I stay un-squished and the driver gets to keep texting instead of paying attention to the road.

    The cemetary has plenty of tombstones belonging to people who had the right of way.

    Deal with things the way they are, not the way you want them to be.

    Now, let's get to work on building an EMP pistol that will shut down any car, cellphone or other electricity-dependant device that we shoot at.

    After all, dealing with things the way they are doesn't mean surrendering to them.

     

    LASER GUN

    Let's shoot for a more intimidating design than this, though.

     

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • What does it take to be an expert?

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    I have no business being anywhere near an automobile when the hood is up and there are tools around:

     

    NICE CAR

    PICTURED:  Car, pre-Terry

     

    JALOPY

    PICTURED:  What's left of car, post-Terry

     

    A Professor of Psychology by the name of Anders Ericsson has studied the nature of talent and posits that in order to become an expert at something, one must deliberately practice that something for 10,000 hours.  You can read more about Ericsson and his theory here.

    Break it down into a 40 hour workweek, and you're looking at a minimum of 5 years before you're an expert at the job you're doing.  10 years may be a more realistic figure once you factor in lunches, breaks, holidays and goofing off on the internet.  (You know, what you're doing now.)

    When I want my car fixed, I'll take it to someone with at least 5 years of experience.

    I've been writing radio advertising copy since early '06.  I'm not quite an expert yet.  I work through lunches and breaks and my internet goof-off time is spent writing, so my practice time is pretty deliberate.

    If you're a business owner, please keep my experience in mind before you veto my copy in favor of something that you wrote on a napkin over the weekend.  At least take my suggestions into account.

    If you're a marketer, don't tell me you're a social media expert when social media itself has barely been around 10 years.  I'll take your suggestions into account, but not your word as gospel.

    Knowing that 5 to 10 years of deliberate practice is what it takes, what are you an expert at?  I'd love to know.  Post below.

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • It won't be like this forever

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    This Blog posting probably doesn't apply to you, but it might apply to someone you know.  Feel free to share it with them.

     

    DOWN GUY

     

    It'll get better.

    Today, you might be working in a job you don't like. 

    For that matter, you might not be working at all.

    Things might feel more than a little hopeless.

    Hey, I've been there too. 

    I've worked as a dishwasher, a toilet scrubber, a Wal-Mart greeter, a cashier, a modular home plant temp, a warehouse pick and packer, a forklift operator, a teaching assistant, a giant bumblebee mascot and a few other gigs that were NOT fulfilling in any way.

    I've felt lost, directionless, and yes, hopeless.

    I've felt like everyone else was living the high life while I was just getting by.

    If that's where you're at today, I need to tell you something.

    You've got what it takes to succeed.  You just have to tap into it.  Are you sad that you're not "Keeping up with the Joneses?"  Hey, screw the Joneses.  They're probably either neck deep in credit card/mortage/car payment debt or they went through what you're going through right now a few years back.  Don't worry about them.  Worry about you.

    Again, you've got what it takes to succeed.  You just have to tap into it.  Everyone has a different mode of access.  I'm sorry, but I don't know what yours is.  I know how you can find it.  Talk to a tech school or University.  Talk to a social worker.  Talk to a pastor.  Talk to a servant, not a salesperson with a magic pill.  You have more options than you think when it comes to work, education, and getting where you want to be.  Explore them.

    Friends telling you that "You can't make it"?  Screw 'em.  They're not your friends.  They just want another slug to hang out with so they don't have to feel so bad about their own sorry state.

    Make this the LAST Friday you wish you had done something else all week.  It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is.  It will probably take a few years, but better to be where you want to be instead of where you are right now in a few years.  You can do it. 

    Go.

    JOURNEY

     

    Be Cool,

    TS