Terry Stevens' Point

  • Have kids that refuse to go to bed on Xmas Eve?

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    Last year, my kids REFUSED to go to bed on Christmas Eve.  Their protests started days earlier.

    "We're just too excited!"

    "I want to see Santa!"

    "No fair!  You and Mama get to stay up!"

    Etc.

    So, I had to tell my kids the truth about why they had to go to bed and stay there on Christmas Eve.  It's not because of Santa.  We tell our kids that to spare them the horrid truth.  The horrid, fanged truth.

    "Children," I said, "it's time you learned about the Christmas Werewolf."

    Their protests ceased.

    "The what?"

    "The Christmas Werewolf," I continued, "eats children who sneak out of bed at night to catch a glimpse of Santa.  That's why you need to stay in bed on Christmas Eve."

    "Nuh-uh."

    "Did I ever tell you about daddy's brother, Sam?"

    "No.  You just have one brother, Uncle Ed."

    "Of course not.  [SIGH].  It was so long ago.  Ed was just a baby.  I was 5 years old, just like you Rosemary.  Sam was two years older than me.  On Christmas Eve, Sam sneaked out of our room to spy on Santa.  I tried to warn him, but he wouldn't listen.  I heard a howl, Sam screamed and then...nothing.  The Christmas Werewolf got him."

    "Really?"

    "Really.  Now go to bed.  I love you both.  Good night."

    "Good night, Daddy."

    "Night Dada!"

    I close the door and listen.

    "Daddy is so full of $#!t."

    "Yeah."

    I howled and everything was quiet until Christmas morning.

    Merry Christmas!

    XMAS WEREWOLF

    Be Cool,

    TS

    (By the way, the Uncle Sam portion of the story was made up just now.  I'd never tell my kids something that horrifying.  Not till they're at least 12 anyway.  TS)

  • A must-watch

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    Know somebody who STILL after all this time, thinks it's okay to drink and drive?

    MAKE THEM WATCH THIS.  Even if you have to taser them and duct tape them to a chair and prop open their eyeballs ala "A Clockwork Orange", make them watch this:

    Thanks, and Be Cool,

    TS

  • Never set through a lame soundcheck again

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    duh-duh

    Duh-Duh

    DUH-DUH

    DUH!

    As a guy who's been in a couple of bands and and guy who has watched more than a few hundred bands play live, watching some dude tune his guitar bores the bejayzus outta me.

    BUT NO MORE!

    This guitar TUNES ITSELF!

    Too sweet.  Now all I need to do is scape 5K to buy it, take some lessons and start a band.

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • An open letter to the NPR crowd

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    Alright Mister and Ms. "I only listen to public radio", I'm calling you out.

    I've been to your little soirees and listened to you chat with your friends about the latest "This American Life", "All Things Considered", and how you love your classical music.  According to the latest research, seen here.

    You're a LIAR.

    Go ahead.  Admit it.  You like commercial radio.  It's okay.  You're not the only one.  David Sedaris isn't going to come to your home and assualt you if you admit that you *GASP* like listening to radio stations that are supported by advertisers.

    (By the way, those advertisers are in large part, local businesses that could really use your support Mr. and Ms. "I simply cannot abide Wal-Mart".  The most effective way for them to reach potential customer's ears just happens to be our station.  Don't hold it against us that we make our airwaves available to the hard working folks who are the backbone of this economy.)

    So go ahead.  Admit that occasionally, you like to turn off the Bach and crank up the Lady GaGa.

    Admit that sometimes, you trade in the NPR for CCR.

    Admit that you like us.  You really, really like us.  Chances are, your "Oh, commercial radio is so gauche" friends like us too.  You can bond over the fact while you enjoy a free trade vegan latte or something.

    Whenever you're ready to admit your love, we'll be waiting, with open arms.

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • What do these people have in common?

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    Bill Clinton

    George W. Bush

    Al Gore

    Newt Gingrich

    Michael Phelps

    Hillary Clinton

    Stephen King

    Montel Williams

    Barack Obama

    Every single one of these people smoked marijuana.

    Yeah, we should totally keep that stuff away from sick people.  We wouldn't want them to become presidents, talk-show hosts, gold medalists, best selling authors or anything horrible like that.

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • "The Only Band That Mattered"

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    30 years ago today, The Clash released what many regard as their best work.

    The Clash was called "The Only [English] Band That Mattered" by their record label, and according to their fans, lived up to it.

    If the only thing you know by The Clash is "Rock The Casbah" and "Should I Stay Or Should I Go?", do yourself a favor and pick up a copy of "London Calling".

    Heck, you can download it here

    Be Cool,

    TS

  • The blizzard had a name

    Posted by Terry Stevens

    I had no idea that we named blizzards.  As it turns out, our latest one was named Alison.

    Though she is now two days gone, her memory lives on (and is still being shoveled somewhere).

    Be Cool,

    TS