My best friend was diagnosed with Stage II breast cancer in 2011. In 2012 she completed her treatments and found out that she was cancer free. We celebrated with an off chemo party and prayed that it was gone forever, but it wasn't. In 2013 not even a year after she had been told she was cancer free my best friend was rediagnosed with Stage IV metastatic breast cancer, which is breast cancer that has spread to other parts of the body. In her case it had spread to her lungs and liver.
Since 2013 she has undergone every kind of treatment doctors could think of. She even traveled to Cancer Treatment Centers of America in Chicago to see if they had any different ideas than her local doctors.
After almost 7 years of continuous treatment and her body is tired. The doctors have told her that her body can't handle any more treatment and she's exhausted all of her options. She's at the end of the road and it's hard to face. She is scared and I am heartbroken.
Here are some things that I've discovered you have to face when your best friend is dying.
1- Some people are scared of her. Yes, of her not for her. Some people who care about her cannot face her or say their goodbyes while she is still here because they're afraid of seeing death.
2- You have to figure out how to talk through the lump in your throat because you may not have another chance to say what you want to say and you'll regret it if you don't.
3-Lots of people want a moment of her time, but she doesn't have the energy for it so you may not be able to spend as much time with her as you want.
4-Losing your best friend makes you feel lonely before they're even gone.
5-When people ask you how she's doing it's hard to know what to say or how much to say.
6-You worry you'll never have a friend like them again to help you through the stuff your best friend always understood.
7-You start thinking about your own mortality. You worry about what would happen to your own family if the same thing happened to you.
8-You sometimes feel like you're in the way. You want to be there for your friend and you want to be involved in what's happening with their care, but their family is their family and they may not want you there.
9-You get angry. You are angry at God, at cancer, at doctors, just angry that nothing saved your friend.
10-You try to remember everything. You look through pictures and take the time to remember the story that goes with each one.
